Article by: Mike York, COO
Remember when you and your customers were inseparable? You hung on their every word. You built personas named “Loyal Lisa” and “Discount Dave.” You promised to “always stay in touch.”
Now it’s three quarters later, and the only time you think of them is when your churn report ruins your morning coffee.
Face it, you’ve lost that loving feeling (*cue the thought of that Top Gun bar scene*). But don’t worry. With a little effort, we can help you two reconnect.
Here’s how to rekindle the flame before they move on to someone more attentive.
Quit Making Every Conversation About You
You’re that person at dinner who only talks about their new projects. “On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you love our brand?” Yawn.
Try asking questions about them. What annoys them? What makes them feel seen? What snacks do they eat while hate-scrolling their inbox?
Stop treating customers like therapy clients for your KPIs.
Relearn Their Love Language (Hint: It’s Not a Loyalty Email)
Every audience speaks differently:
- Some want attention (TikTok replies).
- Some want consistency (good UX).
- Some just want you to stop texting them at midnight about a bundle sale on razors.
Get fluent. Because right now, your “engagement strategy” is giving Stage 5 clinger ex energy.
Take Them on a Listening Date (and Actually Shut Up)
Put the discussion guide down. Step away from the survey logic.
Just… listen. Let them rant. Let them overshare. Let them explain why your packaging “feels like it’s lying.”
You’ll be shocked how much truth you can uncover when you stop defending your brand like it’s on trial.
Stop Calling Them ‘Consumers’
“Consumer” is a word invented by people who’ve never met a human.
Try saying “people” or “customers” or even “chaotic little miracles who help keep the lights on.” Anything but the overused “consumers.”
No one wants to feel like a data point in your CRM breakup spreadsheet.
Get Out of the Dashboard and Into the Wild
You can’t fall in love from a spreadsheet. On second thought…maybe. I recently saw a story about a woman who met her now-husband after posting a review on Amazon, so anything is possible in the digital world we live in. But I digress.
Go see your customers in real life. Watch how they use your product. Observe how they ignore your ad. Cry softly when they pick your competitor.
It’s humbling. It’s enlightening. It’s the relationship counseling your brand needs.
Surprise and Delight (Not Confuse and Annoy)
Send them something unexpected or do something that makes them say, “Wait… that was actually cool.”
If your surprise feels like a marketing tactic, you’re doing it wrong. It should feel like a wink, not a cog in the CRM sequence.
Forgive Yourself for the NPS Score You Got in 2022
We’ve all made mistakes. Maybe you ghosted them after the last survey. Maybe you sent an email that began with “Dear %%FIRSTNAME%%.”
It’s fine. The relationship can recover. Just stop pretending you “learned a lot” and actually change something.
Apologies are cute. Progress is cuter.
Rediscover the Mystery
Here’s the truth: you’ve gotten lazy. You think you know your customers. You’ve seen the personas, read the dashboards, and memorized their A/B testing stats.
But people evolve. The customer you fell for in 2019 now listens to podcasts about emotional boundaries and has a Mel Robbins Fan Club coffee mug.
Get curious again. Relearn who they are, not who they were.
Say ‘I Love You’ (Without Sounding Like a Brand Trying to Go Viral)
Skip the gushy campaigns. Just show you were listening.
Fix what they hate. Double down on what they love. Deliver something that makes them say, “Wow, they actually heard me.”
That’s romance. The real actionable kind.
Make It Fun (Because Right Now, It’s Giving Corporate Boredom Vibes)
If your brand had a personality, would anyone swipe right?
Bring back play. Let customers co-create. Add humor to your research. Make someone laugh in a focus group.
Because love and insight both thrive on curiosity and joy. And right now, your brand could use a little of both.
The Last Word
If your customers seem distant, it’s not them. It’s you.
They didn’t change; you stopped paying attention. You got too busy optimizing and forgot to empathize.
But the good news? It’s fixable. You just have to remember why you cared in the first place.
Because when you genuinely love your customers, not their metrics, not their wallets, but their messy, irrational humanity, they feel it. And they love you back.
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