It’s that time of year again; pumpkin spice in the air, candy corn no one asked for, and marketing teams trying to “lean into spooky season” while still running Q4 brand trackers.
But for those of us in the world of market research, Halloween hits different. Because we see ghosts all year long.
No, not the Casper or bedsheet kind. The insight kind. The ones that appear dramatically in PowerPoint decks, scare executives for five minutes, and then vanish forever into the dark corners of Google Drive.
Welcome, brave researcher, to The Haunted House of Market Research. Enter if you dare.
Room 1: The Graveyard of Unused Insights
Here lie the findings that once thrilled stakeholders; “game-changing,” “eye-opening,” “so actionable!” Now, they rest peacefully under gravestones that read things like:
“Interesting, let’s revisit this next quarter.” “We’ll need leadership buy-in first.” “Add it to the backlog.”
Some nights, if you listen closely, you can still hear them whisper: “We could’ve changed everything… if anyone had read Slide 47.”
Moral of the story? Don’t let your insights become headstones. Bring them back to life before they start haunting your strategy meetings.
Room 2: The Vampire Stakeholders
They only come out at night, or, more accurately, the night before your presentation. They feast on fresh research decks, draining the life (and formatting) out of every deliverable. Their favorite words?
“Can you just add one more slide?” “What if we split the sample… again?” “Do we have time to run another focus group?”
They never die, and they never approve the budget before Halloween. Protect your time and keep garlic (and project scopes) close.
Room 3: The Zombie Personas
Once, they were alive: vibrant, useful, beloved by the marketing team. Now they just shuffle around the office mumbling things like “Millennial Mom,” “Urban Professional,” and “Value Seeker.”
You’ll recognize them by their blank expressions and outdated data. They still wear their 2019 lanyards and think TikTok is an app for clock enthusiasts. Do yourself a favor: give them a proper burial and start fresh. No one wants to be stalked by “Tech-Savvy Tim” anymore.
Room 4: The Focus Group Séance
It’s dark. The moderators are gathered. Everyone’s holding hands around a conference table made of incentives and desperation.
“Spirit of the Customer, if you can hear us… please give us a sign… why did you switch brands?”
A faint voice emerges: “Because your UX made me cry.”
That’s the thing about qualitative research; sometimes, you summon more than you bargained for. But hey, at least it’s brutally honest feedback.
Room 5: The Mirror of Confirmation Bias
You look into it and see exactly what you wanted to see all along. Your campaign does resonate! Your audience does love the new flavor! Wait… what’s that shadow behind you? Oh, it’s the truth, and it’s hideous.
Beware of mirrors that flatter you. The real magic happens when you see the reflection that makes you uncomfortable enough to change.
Room 6: The Curse of “We Already Knew That”
Every researcher’s worst nightmare. You present a 60-page report, perfectly analyzed, beautifully visualized, full of revelations, and someone at the end says, “Yeah, this just confirms what we already knew.”
Congratulations, you’ve been cursed with eternal validation. The only way to break the spell? Action. Take what you “already knew” and finally do something with it.
Room 7: The Data Monster That Ate Your Weekend
It started small. Just a few cross-tabs. Maybe one segmentation model. Now it’s a 4GB Excel file that crashes your laptop and consumes your soul. You whisper, “Just one more pivot table…” It whispers back, “FORECAST ERROR.” Lesson learned: Don’t feed the monster after midnight (or after Friday).
The Escape Route: Turn Fright Into Fuel
Every haunted research project can be redeemed. The difference between a graveyard of insights and a goldmine of action? Follow-through. Turn “That’s interesting” into “Let’s test it.” Turn “We’ll revisit this later” into “We’re piloting it next week.” Turn “Ghosted by stakeholders” into “We built a movement.”
Because the scariest thing in research isn’t a bad focus group or a corrupted data file. It’s knowing the truth and doing nothing about it.
The Last Word
This Halloween, light a candle for all the abandoned insights. Revisit your old decks. Call your favorite customer segment. Ask new questions. Try a bold experiment.
Because the real horror story in market research… isn’t the ghosts in your data. It’s the silence that follows your findings.
Happy haunting, and happy researching.
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SMARI is an award-winning Indiana-based market research consultancy that was founded in 1983 with the idea of guiding change and inspiring confidence. We are proud to work with SMEs as well as a variety of Fortune 500 brands. We are powered by our core values: integrity, community, perseverance, trust, passion, curiosity, and innovation. SMARI’s expertise includes full project scopes, including instrument design, sampling & fielding services, reporting & analysis in Healthcare, CPG, Retail, Food & Beverage, Manufacturing, Financial Services industries, and beyond. Much has changed in our 40+ years, but our tagline and overarching mission remain the same—to guide change and inspire confidence. Start a conversation with us at www.SMARI.com.
